My Motto:

Give me your cool, your dorky, your sexy, your not-so-sexy, your intelligent, your slow, your safe and your dangerous and I'll tell you why their all douche bags.

Friday, January 29, 2010

The Preface

Well, this is my first entry into the blogosphere so hello, I'm...er...Bridgette. I'm nearly 2_ now and recently single...again. Being thrust back into the single scene again after several years on hiatus, I'm quickly learning about a not-so-new phenomenon that can only be referred to as male idiocy. On one hand, I'm a little saddened to be "in my prime" and already so romantically cynical. But on the other hand, some of the scenarios I've encountered recently in the realm of dating are so completely absurd that they just need to be written down. Now, I'm a realist so I'm completely aware that I'll never write that screenplay or novel I have in mind so instead I'm here with my blog on the dos and don'ts (mostly don'ts) of dating. Gents, if you're wise you'll keep reading. You might actually learn something.

Before we get started though lets get something straight: I am no Carrie Bradshaw (I know, brace yourself for the shock). I am not a 30/40 something, Manolo Blahnik-wearing, Chanel-toting Manhattan socialite with an endless supply of hunky, eligible batchelors and a gaggle of girlfriends to gossip and drink cosmos with. No. Perhaps thats my first mistake, but I've got to play the cards I'm dealt. Sadly, you will not find Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin in my closet (sigh), I live in the Connecticut suburbs (double sigh), and I have only one close girlfriend within a 50 mile radius of me. Instead, my closest friends are clueless (but lovable) men boys.

TANGENT/DISCLAIMER: I'm fully aware that children are starving all over the world but my life, my blog, let me bitch.

Basically what I'm trying to say is I'm not working with sex in the city here. No, its more like lack of sex and/or settling in the suburbs...20-something edition.

I still have faith that somewhere out there, there is a place where all the wonderful men in the world live and work and play...shirtless...with glistening washboard stomachs...
I have no clue where I was going with that one. But I think it was along the lines of: I'm sure that there are good guys out there, I just haven't met any of them. OR, if I have, they are either: a) taken, b) my friend or c) too nice (i.e. not my type).

I'm going to keep adding stories as the come because, as I'm finding out, there is no end to the dumb shit guys will do or say. But in the meantime, let me catch you up to speed. Each blog is a different strange and horrific tale that may or may not have some sort of happy ending or moral, but most likely wont.

Let me just say that the stories to come are loose (meaning exact) retellings of actual events as I remember them. Peoples names have been changed to protect their identities, but if you're reading this you know who you are...

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